SERVICES & SERMONS
WE OFFER SPECIAL SERVICES TO FANS OF AN INORDINATE SUM AND NATURE
Live with Jesus
For $10,000 USD, you may come into my home, whoever you are, and I will use MEATEATER to cut the mark of the beast into your hand, carefully, and then we will write. Or whatever form of art is your medium. I will not allow you to die, but you must survive.
YOU MUST SIGN A WAIVER OF LIABILITY FOR THIS
Anyone who does this, may come and live with me in my home. As long as I don't ask you to leave. When the home is too full of people, We will pool our money to buy a larger location for the cult services to expand into.
FIRST COME FIRST SERVED
[offer can be rescinded at any time]
GAIN ENTRY INTO THE LEADERSHIP
LIVE WITH YOUR LORD
Anyone welcome who is respectful of me.
CONTACT: SQUEE669@gmail.com to arrange details.
Your first payment must be used in order to officially write up the contracts before anything can occur.
$10,000 per cut
I will not allow you to die
but i am not responsible for accidents beyond my reasonable ability to prevent while accomodating you. If you go to hospital without making much progress, your application for approval into the house is UNDER REVIEW.
I am trained in the use of meateater, but this is a dangerous process, I will tend to your wounds, I have supplies, if you wish I will stitch it up, but then you cannot get your tattoo.
This may take several days to heal. I cannot guarantee you are made of as stern stuff as me, I can't control my hands all the time at perfect accuracy. But I will not attempt to maliciously harm you.
This is about teaching you to create artwork. Entry into the house is merely a bonus, I wish to be with anyone willing to partake in such an event.
For $100,000, I will make a much deeper cut, at your request and extreme peril. Per cut. Your liability waiver will list this as a form of gambling, with assisted suicide.
I am officially your chosen assisted suicide practitioner if you choose this road Sir.
If you default to hospital however, you must explain to the doctor why you are intent on harming yourself. Your entry into the house is jeopardized.
ASSISTED SUICIDE: General
For $10,000 USD, (limited discounts available depending on situation) I will be your assisted suicide practitioner. There are medications which will cause a pleasant and easy death, you may be with your lord when you go, I shed a tear for thee.
I do not currently possess any creditation or certification in assisted suicide. Any associated costs, and time required in order to obtain this creditation is your full responsibility and burden to bear.
Your name will be listed on this website. In the obituary.
Contact: Squee669@gmail.com
Suicide Counselling
I offer you 24 hours where I will listen to you no matter what you have to say. I will be there for you for the entire day, no matter what i am doing when you call. I will be there for you the entire day, and you can figure out what you need to do next.
CONTACT: Squee669@gmail.com
Spirit Channelling From Beyond the Grave
After you die, however or whyever you died. I will use your email and login information and devices to communicate with your relatives from beyond the grave.
Channeling your spirit,
I will speak to them as you,
I will become you.
If you love them, I will be kind to them, no matter how irate they become at the vile hoax.
If you hated them, I will try to make them understand and regret what they did to you, and if they committed crimes against you I will report them to the police for you.
I will also offer you alternatives while you are still alive.
CONTACT: Squee669@gmail.com
BECOME A PART OF OUR FAMILY
apply to become a nun, through the web form.
LIABILITY WAIVER
WAIVER OF LIABILITY : Assisted Suicide
Regarding Phonecalls:
In the event of suicide counselling, by booking this appointment,
You hold Brendan S. Rose in no way legally, financially, or otherwise
liable for the resulting actions you may take as a result of my advice
or counselling sessions.
Regarding hostility/vulgarity:
If you are hostile and insulting, this is grounds for me to become
hostile and insulting, if you have booked suicide counselling
hostility over our method of contact is not a grounds for ending
the phonecall against your wishes, but if you wish to treat me
badly, I will return the favor. I reserve the right to end the phonecall
at any time I want for any reason I want, if you have booked the session
and paid and i showed up, no refunds, but I will endeavor to provide the
service offered in full, if your beheavior becomes too unbearable to manage
I will politely end the phonecall, or in whatever manner we are speaking
at the time.
You may swear or use any terms deemed hateful,
this is an around the dinner table setting.
Illegality/Violence:
IF you in any way make me believe you are genuinely about to harm another person,
I will end the phonecall immmediately and report you to the police.
The no report clause in no way makes me a party to any violence i believe you are
likely to enact. A calm reasonable demeanour is suggested.
Advice:
Any advice given is yours to act on as you wish.
I am in no way responsible for the actions of other people.
EMAILS/ADDRESSES/PHONES:
If you elect to speak with your relatives and loved ones from beyond the grave
via email or text, before you kill yourself, which is your own responsibility and
not something i would advise for a normal healthy person with an ok life,
You must provide me with your login information, so that I may access your account,
and email your family and loved ones, by channelling your soul from beyond the grave,
as well as any associated devices you wish me to communicate through. By the time you go,
I will have talked with you for a long time, gotten to know you, we will have weighed alternatives,
and methods of improving/fixing your life. I have training in psychiatric analysis, mentored under
doctors much more financially and legally empowered than I was. I will develop a psychological profile
of you and do my best to treat your relatives as I believe you would wish me to treat them.
When I communicate with your relatives and loved ones as you,
If I get the sense you like your family, I will endeavor to be as kind as possible,
tell them you are in a good place, it's wonderful where you are now, but you miss them,
and you're there with them, and you'll see each other again.
If you have a problem relative who has given you grief or trouble,
I will do my best to make this person understand the effect their actions have had on your life,
that they have contributed to your death, that it is in whole or in part their fault,
If I believe they have committed unreported crimes against you, I will report what they did to you
to the police. If they mistreat you, I will stand up for you, I will make them regret what they did to you.
We will login to these devices on my machines to make sure everything is good for a period of time
to make sure all is square with the process.
PAYMENT:
Payment is made at least 24 hours before our first session begins,
it is nonrefundable when sent. I will arrive at our meeting and endeavor to be
there for you for at least 24 hours, the entire day, I will make time for you no matter
what I am doing.
Education
2015-2017
Degree
University Name
Briefly describe your degree and any other highlights about your studies you want to share. Be sure to include relevant skills you gained, accomplishments you achieved or milestones you reached during your education.
2011-2014
Degree
University Name
Briefly describe your degree and any other highlights about your studies you want to share. Be sure to include relevant skills you gained, accomplishments you achieved or milestones you reached during your education.
2007-2010
Degree
University Name
Briefly describe your degree and any other highlights about your studies you want to share. Be sure to include relevant skills you gained, accomplishments you achieved or milestones you reached during your education.
HOURS
SUNDAY SERVICES
Every Sunday from 6pm to 8pm
In your heart
CHILDREN'S SERVICES
Every Wednesday from 3pm to 4pm
But only if you know of love